Monthly Archives: November 2013

Whats love got to do with it?

So, I’m sitting on a plane heading back from a trip to visit my best friend and sister. Now, I’m not a huge fan of planes. not sure exactly why but, I’ve never been. It’s interesting though how many people are in the same boat as me.  As I look around, I’ve noticed a few things…it’s fascinating to me how people deal with certain things. Everyone around me is so different. For example, we have the women next to me that been clinging to her rosary beads and silently saying a prayer, we have the man to my left playing Sudoku, reading and playing more games, staying seemingly calm trying to mask his anxiety by staying busy. We have the woman to my left back, sleeping while her alarm goes off, not bothered one bit while the man to her right hasn’t stopped talking. All this going on is trumped by the constant and loud cackling of 3 women that clearly have had too much coffee. Oh the joys of flying… It’s interesting how many people have a fear of flying. I’m masking my fear by listening to worship music and writing how everyone else is handling it. Ha. Turbulence isn’t helping this either. I’m wondering what causes this irrational fear or fear at all?! Is all fear irrational? Food for thought, I guess.
For me, it has nothing to do with dying. I’m not afraid of that. I know where I’m going. After really thinking about this I figured out that this fear is no different than any fear. It’s the future thought of things to come. Its the loss of control and the lack of grounding yourself in the present. It’s the inability to relax and enjoy our surroundings. It’s not real! Fear isn’t real!! Wait, it isn’t? Nope. It’s the forward motion thought that we somehow morph into unrealistic things that usually never happen! I wonder what would happen if when we were in a fearful state, we took a deep breath and grounded ourselves in the present. Sometimes taking it a bit further and enjoyed the things we wouldn’t even think to consider. Like the air, the view, the laughing, the chairs, the ground. The simple things that we rush by and forget that this is what’s real, the here and now. If we stop and think about the fears we all have, it wouldn’t start or stop with something like flying. Finances, sickness, relationships, lack of hope, lack of understanding, people, etc. It’s things that haven’t even happened! It’s the “what if’s” that get us in trouble. Now I’m not saying danger isn’t real, I’m saying fear isn’t real. We need to learn the art of entering a room and taking our peace if it isn’t there.
I recently went to a Graham Cooke conference and he said when he walks into a situation and he doesn’t have what he needs to handle it, he says; “I allocate —– in the name of Jesus”.  So I thought I’d try it. As I was sitting on the plane, feeling all the anxiety swirling around me, I quietly said, “I allocate peace in the name of Jesus”, took a deep breath and grounded myself in the present. I feel much better now. Why? Cause fear isn’t real. Danger is real, but fear isn’t. What would happen if we stopped responding to fear and responded to everything with love. After all, perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). That’s what I did, I used perfect love (in the name of Jesus) to remind myself of my authority (I allocate) to remove fear by choosing to bring supernatural peace down from Heaven.
So, love has everything to do with it! I can’t get to a peaceful state on my own. I had to relinquish all control and call on perfect love and supernatural peace to remind myself that I am in the present, the hear and now and I have the choice to sit back and enjoy the ride.

Mastering the art of LEARNING to be a superhero….

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OK, anyone that knows me, knows good and well that this is something I have not mastered. I actually wouldn’t even say I was all that good at it. I can say that I’m much better then I was, and I’m OK with saying that. This is a very hard thing to master. Especially for women. We have what I call, “Superhero syndrome”. We like to take on everything! Most of the time its not even ours to take on. In this day in age I’ve seen this take off even more. With Pinterest and Facebook and Instagram, we feel the need to keep up.

You know, keep up with the mom that’s working full time, raising all her kids perfectly, lives in a perfect home with her house spotless, makes every meal from scratch and probably sows her and her children’s owns cloths. You know this woman! We all know at least one! We also know that woman that grows all her own food, makes everything from scratch and churns her own butter, home schools all of her children and they are well adapted, gives freely to everyone and donates her time at church, women’s group, children’s group, small group, homeless outreach, etc..and both examples are always well put together ….These examples are what I call superheros. Those women that set the bar so high it seems unreachable. Why do we compare ourselves?! I, for a long time tried to be woman number 1, and then woman 2 for a period. I remember working insane hours, starting at 5am and ending at 6pm. making dinner, doing homework, cleaning my house (spotless), doing the laundry, making the lunches, making homemade bread, prepping dinner for the next night and then putting my kids to bed. After they were down I would get back on my computer at 8ish and work til 12am or 1am…… INSANE!!! I was literally killing myself. I remember having a gathering at my house at one of the men came out of the bathroom and said, “Wow, your house is always so clean! You could eat off the toilets!” I felt so accomplished. A short time after that my life completely changed. My career went away when the market took a turn. I was no longer a “successful woman and mom” in my eyes. I had a false sense of what a superhero was. After a tough process of learning to let go of control and the effed up idea that a super woman has to be perfect at everything, I had a good heart to heart with myself.  What if a superhero is something so much simpler? What if its simply loving my children 100% without any distractions, or sitting and listening to my husband be goofy and laughing at all his jokes. What if its taking the time to have coffee with a friend that needs some human contact because shes isolated herself because she doesn’t think she is a “superhero”? What if its being a good sister, daughter, friend, wife, mom….A loving person?  What if its letting the house be a little dirty, leaving work on time and not working overtime, saying “no”, ordering take out and remembering your not perfect?

We need to give ourselves some grace. This is the art of LEARNING to be a superhero. Its a process, a journey and seldom do we master it. Our jobs aren’t to be perfect but instead, to be excellent.  Excellent at loving, excellent at laughing, excellent and letting go of control, excellent and not being perfect and excellent and mastering the learning process. We need to be one another cheerleaders and give a warm hug, or pat on the back to one another. Then we will realize that everyone is a superhero and master the process of seeing the superhero in the unassuming ways.