Monthly Archives: November 2013
OK, anyone that knows me, knows good and well that this is something I have not mastered. I actually wouldn’t even say I was all that good at it. I can say that I’m much better then I was, and I’m OK with saying that. This is a very hard thing to master. Especially for women. We have what I call, “Superhero syndrome”. We like to take on everything! Most of the time its not even ours to take on. In this day in age I’ve seen this take off even more. With Pinterest and Facebook and Instagram, we feel the need to keep up.
You know, keep up with the mom that’s working full time, raising all her kids perfectly, lives in a perfect home with her house spotless, makes every meal from scratch and probably sows her and her children’s owns cloths. You know this woman! We all know at least one! We also know that woman that grows all her own food, makes everything from scratch and churns her own butter, home schools all of her children and they are well adapted, gives freely to everyone and donates her time at church, women’s group, children’s group, small group, homeless outreach, etc..and both examples are always well put together ….These examples are what I call superheros. Those women that set the bar so high it seems unreachable. Why do we compare ourselves?! I, for a long time tried to be woman number 1, and then woman 2 for a period. I remember working insane hours, starting at 5am and ending at 6pm. making dinner, doing homework, cleaning my house (spotless), doing the laundry, making the lunches, making homemade bread, prepping dinner for the next night and then putting my kids to bed. After they were down I would get back on my computer at 8ish and work til 12am or 1am…… INSANE!!! I was literally killing myself. I remember having a gathering at my house at one of the men came out of the bathroom and said, “Wow, your house is always so clean! You could eat off the toilets!” I felt so accomplished. A short time after that my life completely changed. My career went away when the market took a turn. I was no longer a “successful woman and mom” in my eyes. I had a false sense of what a superhero was. After a tough process of learning to let go of control and the effed up idea that a super woman has to be perfect at everything, I had a good heart to heart with myself. What if a superhero is something so much simpler? What if its simply loving my children 100% without any distractions, or sitting and listening to my husband be goofy and laughing at all his jokes. What if its taking the time to have coffee with a friend that needs some human contact because shes isolated herself because she doesn’t think she is a “superhero”? What if its being a good sister, daughter, friend, wife, mom….A loving person? What if its letting the house be a little dirty, leaving work on time and not working overtime, saying “no”, ordering take out and remembering your not perfect?
We need to give ourselves some grace. This is the art of LEARNING to be a superhero. Its a process, a journey and seldom do we master it. Our jobs aren’t to be perfect but instead, to be excellent. Excellent at loving, excellent at laughing, excellent and letting go of control, excellent and not being perfect and excellent and mastering the learning process. We need to be one another cheerleaders and give a warm hug, or pat on the back to one another. Then we will realize that everyone is a superhero and master the process of seeing the superhero in the unassuming ways.